What. The. Fuck.

Gege started his new school yesterday, and so far things have been good. The teacher reported that he did show some defiance a few times, but in the end she was able to get him to cooperate. So far he seems to like all the teachers and students in the class, and they in turn all seem to like him. I really hope this works out for him. I was relieved to hear he isn’t the “worst” in the class. He’s always been the most difficult child in every class he’s been in, so it’s nice to hear that that for once he isn’t.

Because kindergarten ends so early, we decided to send him to the on-site after school child care. It’s inexpensive and convenient. Initially I was hesitant, because I wasn’t sure how he would handle it, but I found out that one of his classmates in the behavioral program also goes to the after school care. If he can handle it, then Gege can too. I went to look at it today, and he’ll start going there after school tomorrow.

I would like to write more about Gege’s class and how much I like his teacher so far, but I really need to get something off my chest. This will make more sense if you read the last couple of posts, particularly this one.

Today I got a phone call from the principal at Amazing Preschool. Apparently she also runs the after school programs for all the schools in the district. She started telling me about how she had a talk with the after school child care leader at Gege’s new school about Gege’s “issues” – and I had to cut her off. First of all, I was immediately furious, and secondly, I was in the middle of a doctor’s appointment. I told her to call me back.

A couple of hours later, I got a voice message from her where she went on at some length. I couldn’t listen to the whole thing. I was beyond livid. Where the fuck does she get off? Her whole tone was sugary sweet, like she’s just trying to do her best to help Gege. She’s not.

So I drafted a letter to her, but I don’t know if I should send it. Would you?

C_____,

I got your message.

I want to make it very clear that Gege’s aggressiveness did not appear until he attended Amazing*, and that after he went to Oak Hills, almost all the aggressive behaviors went away.

I strongly believe that, because of the way Gege left Matador Elementary, the staff at Amazing were predisposed to think of Gege as a “problem child” and treated him accordingly – instead of treating him like they would any other child.

I understand that the staff at Amazing does not have experience with special needs children, but I also know that NO OTHER school has had such a hard time with him. Amazing is the ONLY school that Gege has attended where I do not feel he was treated with love and respect. I still feel very angry about this.

I did not appreciate how you went about talking to the child care leader about Gege. You have not seen him for 2 months, you don’t know what progress he’s made, you don’t know anything about him. We have seen how the practice of “warning” teachers before meeting a child doesn’t work. Yet it is happening again, and it’s worse this time, because you have no clue what Gege is like now. Have you talked to Gege’s teachers at Oak Hills? Have you talked to his teacher in the special ed program?

One of Gege’s classmates in the special ed program attends after school care as well. I went to see it today, and from what I can tell, that boy is not treated any differently by the staff at the child care center. There is no need for Gege to be treated differently, either.

An

* all names have been changed

This is a woman who has had very little interaction with Gege. And I highly doubt that she bothered to talk to his current special ed teacher, or the district special ed coordinator, or even read his IEP.

I understand that she is concerned about Gege hitting or kicking the other students. I get that. I don’t want my son to hurt other kids either. That’s why we have been working on this with him, that’s why his teachers at Oak Hills worked with him on this, that’s why he’s now in a special program for kids with behavioral issues. I feel like asking if she also had “concerns” when the other kid, Gege’s classmate in the program, started going to after school care. Somehow, I don’t think so.

And speaking of how the teachers at Matador “warned” Amazing Preschool about Gege before he went there… that really still pisses me off. These people knew Gege for 5 days. And I fucking let them talk me into seeing Gege as a problem kid. I let them intimidate me into pulling Gege out of kindergarten because I thought they knew what the fuck they were doing. I thought they knew better than me.

I mentioned a couple posts ago that I talked to the director of Gege’s old preschool. She told me that she was so relieved that Gege is back in kindergarten. I knew she didn’t think putting him back in preschool was a good idea. She also told me that her friend, who is a special ed teacher at one of the schools in our district, is ashamed of how the school district handled the whole thing. When I look back, I am ashamed of myself for not sticking up for Gege more.

Soon after Gege started at Oak Hills, I realized Gege was going to be fine. Seriously, back when he was at Amazing, in my darkest hours I had visions of Gege being like my brother Chris. But now I see how wrong I was. He’s improved so much and is talking so much now. When I see the kids in his special program, they are all like him. They all have problems with self-regulation. And from what the special ed coordinator told me, they’ve all come a long way. I have hope for Gege.

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